Single parenting can be lonely. I know. Here is what I do to feel better. Helpful and easy tips.
Being a single parent can be very lonely at times. Your life is split in days with kids and days without kids. While this same thing means free days as well – which can be divine… it can often feel empty as well.
If you are a sociable person with never ending energy supplies you are probably rocking these days. And I salute you for it!
But if you are like me (more an introvert than extrovert) at the end of a busy week I am tired. I am in need of social contacts, but often I can’t be bothered going to busy bars or restaurants. Because of that I spend the nights without kids on my own more often than I would like.
While most days are good, some days can feel so lonely and sad.
I will share what helps me to deal with loneliness. Hopefully it helps you as well.
- Recently I learned that all feelings and emotions which are overwhelming all have to do with my past and unresolved traumas. This has really helped me putting things in perspective. It doesn’t solve my childhood traumas nor does the empty feeling of loneliness go away but it makes it so much more manageable. So instead of overwhelming it now becomes bearable. Instead of depressing it becomes hopeful (I know that step by step I am healing my wounds and allowing this feeling right now is one of the steps of my healing process. This is what I tell myself). Instead of feeling useless and unwanted I feel like I am building the life I want (instead of struggle with the life that has happened to me).
- So after making peace with the above I make myself do stuff. A workout, cleaning whatever, grocery shopping. Something easy on the mind. (No finances, work related projects, administration etc). After I finished my task I know I will feel better. The house looks and smells nice… I get to enjoy the results. I have also ‘deserved’ down time after completing my task. With ‘deserved’ I mean it simply feels so much better to reach a tiny goal than to feel hopeless.
- This downtime can be several things: going for coffee/lunch at my favourite little restaurant, order take out, watch my favourite serie. I have noticed that for me it works best if I do have some form of human interaction. (I will go for coffee at a place where I always have some nice small talk. A small and intimate place, where a lot of people drop by on their own for a coffee)
- I surround myself with soothing music, warm lights, a nice smell in the house, my comfiest clothes or blanket
- If I am not yet into a serie (sometimes you’re in between…) I will look for a movie I had wanted to see for a long time. I will rent it on Itunes. No endless searching for free online links. I am worth the money.
- If I need a laugh I will look online for things that lift my spirit. Obviously this is different for each person but I really like watching Jimmy Fallon. Really funny, innocent, positive, the kind of things I would do too. My kind of humor.
- Sometimes I really want to be inspired. I can yearn for my soul to be touched. Most often I listen to Abraham Hicks when I feel this need.
- If I feel I need a good cry (I almost never cry and sometimes I wish I could just cry for a little while to get it out of my system) I will watch a movie to help me cry. Even though this is difficult to stage. La famille Belier gets me every time though…
- Or a soothing movie. It’s complicated is my go to movie for this. Or Friends. They fill my house with great vibes.
- I try not to get lost on social media. All these people doing amazing things with amazing people… I avoid this as much as possible. I will check people or sites that inspire me. And after that I go offline again.
- Remember that you are not the only one with these feelings! Many many people feel like this from time to time. Allow yourself this off day (or days) and try not to drown in your own drama. As time (we’re talking hours… not days) passes you will feel better! If however you feel you are sliding into a dark place- don’t torture yourself any longer and find help! You are so worth it.
So, if you are still reading you probably know this lonely feeling all to well. Please know I wrote this for you. Yes. Really you. I feel connected even though we haven’t met (yet). If you have any tips for other readers or questions, let me know down below in the comments? Let’s connect.
With love for you. <3